Already got asked if we're dating
You're so nebulous sometimes
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize