Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
