It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
