is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize