She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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