college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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