I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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