i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
