just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
