Swine flu. Run for my life!
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize