So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
