K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize