Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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