You're so nebulous sometimes
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
