Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
