Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
What a dumb baby whore.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
