So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
