"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
