Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
operation harelip BJ is a go
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
