mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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