Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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