At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
