Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
