drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I think I am morally bankrupt
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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