I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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