Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm at about main and main street
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
