Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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