Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
