theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize