just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
