Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
