This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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