I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
