It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
