I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
