You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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