just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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