Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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