White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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