What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
sick fucks of a feather flock together
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize