We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
