I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
