i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize