your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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