It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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