maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
