But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
