the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
