why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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