i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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