I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
