Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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