Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
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