I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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