The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
