He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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