OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
