I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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