I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
