I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
