Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
