dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
