i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
