dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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