I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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