just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
