Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
